keeping my relationship private

happy new year everyone!  i do hope that each of you has had a great start to 2016.  so here is the first post of the year.

recently, i’ve been thinking if there are any real benefits to publicizing your romantic relationships?  there are those relationships that are filled with splendor and love which makes us want to share it with the world – proving love is truly grand.  i love the “butterfly feeling” that consumes me once i begin to fall in love.  or the excitement of talking to my girlfriends about the new man that has swept me off my feet.  i love it all.  but, i also love my privacy.  there’s something to be said about discretion – it’s necessary.  so before i get to deep with my post, i think its only necessary for me to state… this is my opinion and my preferred method in managing my love life.  also, if you are being harmed or abused in any form, you must speak out.

now that that’s out of the way, let us continue…….

my boyfriend and I have been dating for a couple of years now.  he’s great – he is extremely good to me, beautiful inside and out, intelligent, hard working, an excellent father – the list just goes on and i probably can yap about this man all day, but i won’t.  i’m a giving person, but at what point do I keep something for myself?  i’ve made a conscious decision to share small portions about my relationship to a select few.

after my divorce i decided to date on my terms.  by “terms” i mean not considering whether or not this person is good enough for my friends.  after all, i’m the one he’s seeing – not my friends or family.  if i believe that he’s good enough for me then that’s all that really matters.  i also set a new dating agenda that had released me from anyone’s standards of how or who i should date.  i wasn’t too vocal about what i was looking for in a man, besides the obvious generic traits (nice, respectable, honest, etc.).  within the parameters of my agenda, i made a personal decree to keep my love life private.  don’t get me wrong, i have sought out advice to some of my friends and even have shared some private things about my relationship with them, but not everything.  what we consume from people’s opinions, television and/or social media has misguided us when it comes to the dating experience.  within my circle of friends growing up, introducing your guy to the crew was a rite of passage – that was broken by me.

after meeting my guy and before it became serious, i was pretty hush hush.  months had passed before i even introduced him to my mother.  the first photo that i posted of him on instagram was of half his face with a dark filter added.  i was teased, but i liked the mystery surrounding him, hence his alias given name, blue or ázul.  i was dating my way.  because i had no real interest in touring him around the city going from house to house, i was enjoying us.  my people could tell i was happy just off of the energy i carried or the constant smile that stayed glued on my face!

another reason for me keeping my relationship private is for my sanity.  during the split from my ex-husband i felt obligated to share my pain with friends.  let me be clear, the obligation was self-applied and at no time did anyone make me talk about what i was feeling – it was therapeutic.  however, one can only keep repeating the same story over again until it starts to drive one crazy.  now that I’m happily in love, i still chose to be discret and avoid having that same effect – driving myself crazy!

i’m an active instagram and facebook user.  I enjoy posting about my children, my profession and every once in a while a post about my guy will appear.  however, in the world of social media we can get trapped in thrusting our love lives out on display.  we’re so proud and happy that we feel obligated to share our most intimate parts of our lives.  then, God forbid, a break-up….. now all of your followers want the scoop.  listen, if you’re going to post and share just be ready for what comes along with that – other people’s comments and opinions.  outside of me being a private person, those very reasons are examples of why i have safeguarded my relationship.

whether married or dating, there’s beauty in having some exclusivity about your love life.    if your mate showers you with the best gifts or sends you 10,000 sweet texts – does everyone need to know?  what is there to prove?  my advice is to free yourself from the obligation of public display and telling all of your relationship business to everybody.  just enjoy your relationship and allow things to fall in place naturally.

thank you for reading and remember to leave your comments or send me an email at msrobin28@gmail.com.  you can also find me on instagram @qtrob or twitter @qt_rob.

 

~robin~