the beauty of things

beauty is everywhere, just look around and you will run smack dab into it.  the substance of beauty can fill your world full of bliss.  as much as one may try to explain its essence, we still cannot comprehend its fullness.   i’ve always been drawn towards the esthetics of beauty and its detailing which in turn has fueled my drive and passion for it.   my hope for my blog is that it may help heighten your beauty senses may it be through appearance, cosmetics, foods, love, family or health.  enjoy!


now that that’s out of the way

img_7792“last year’s word belong to last year’s language, and next year’s words await another voice.” C.S. Lewis

to my faithful friends, family, and supporters welcome to a new year. it’s been exactly 7 months since my last post and since then it seems that the earth has completely shifted. athough i’m usually i’m openly opinionated and very vocal about my views and how i feel, for some reason in 2017 it’s taken me nearly 3 months to find my voice for this new year.

in sharing with my inner circle, its clear that i’m not alone in my silence. what can i say-trump-speechless, future healthcare options for my family speechless, a silly social media beef and misunderstandings-speechless, confusing weather patterns-speechless, hell, even the falcons-speechless.  and after the 8 years of “short hair don’t care” i’m even growing my hair back out-speechless!

during this time of silence I realized that my writings have always been the safe place and home for my voice. as i enter into year two of the r district blog, i’m looking to bring to my reading audience new and fresh commentary on life, self-love, food, health, relationships, beauty, raising children, entrepreneurship, travel, and enjoying life.

writer’s block is real, just like the growing pains that my 5 year-old son is experiencing in his knees and lower leg region – but that’s another story.  last month i packed up a lot of my clothing and donated them to goodwill.  i threw out everything that i hadn’t used within a year and items that i had now deemed useless.  my apartment had started to make me feel closed in and my personal space was invaded with things that had no meaningful representation other than cramping my living quarters.  i couldn’t think straight, my space just didn’t have the same open and inviting atmosphere as it had when i first moved in.  i needed to make room.  i needed clarity.

img_7295there were some major changes that needed to take place in my life and i needed mental space with fewer distractions (says a mother of 3 active children).  two years ago i moved my family into a cute apartment home in downtown atlanta to downsized from decent sized home in lithonia to start fresh.  becoming a minimalist made way for less distractions and a sound mind.  but all of a sudden my space was invaded by the remnants of birthday gifts, christmas presents, miscellaneous papers, and what have you.  so i spent all of january, as i like to call it, re’ing…, re-thinking and retreating.  as far back as i can remember i had been going full speed with no real down time.  i’m a napper and i wasn’t getting my naps in.  if you are remotely close to me, then you’d know how important it is for me to take a nap.  once i got rid of all the unwanted things i started to notice how light my spirit was and how much more clearer my thoughts became.  i had already closed my business at the end of december and was not to able to fully commit and direct my attention on culinary school and my blog.

like most working moms, i struggle with balance.  out of all the things that i have mastered balance isn’t one of them.  so in order for my world to function smoothly and without me going crazy, i have mastered the art of elimination.  weighing out my options have been very beneficial to my quality of life, hence throwing out all of my shit to the goodwill’s around metro atlanta.  i just simply remove what i can’t tolerate or what can potentially be problematic.  i simply can’t deal with fluff or extra baggage because i have so many hats to wear and several people depending on me to be in place.  and, i’m just not perfect and i need my space.

img_7493so, with the said, i’m back!  my apologies for such a long hiatus i truly had writer’s block.  i have a bunch of topics to highlight with you all. journaling is the best backup to having this blog – its kinda like my little cheat sheet, plus it helps me to remember the things that i will be addressing with you all.  may i suggest that if you’re wanting a stress reliever you should try journaling.  other than my prayer life, my journal has been a great therapy outlet for me.  i will be adding fun little recipes to try, i’ll still be sharing beauty secrets and diy’s on here, as well.  and of course, relationship topics are a must.  and as always, feel free to send me emails at  i love connecting with my readers.



soar, princess, soar

imagebecause of you, my heart has been able to make room for love beyond my imagination.  who knew i could love so much and so endlessly until i birthed you.  becoming your mother has pretty much been my ultimate blessing – i’m still in awe in how God selected me to be your mother. even though you posses some of my traits, your individuality deserves to be recognized.  at the age of 12, you’ve posses such strength and poise that i had to learn and master over the years.  i’ve observed your gentle approach to how you care for your brothers, the way you enjoy your quiet time, you don’t need a crowd to follow or that you seek approval from others, how you have managed to adapt to a new school and make new friends effortlessly – its like you have become one of my life’s teachers.  image

taylor, the relationship that we have is my most prized possession and its one that is the closest to my heart.  whenever i’ve decided to make any critical life changes, i’ve always considered you first.  as you see, a mother/daughter relationship is delicate and should be handled as such.  the older that you get the closer we grow.  i always enjoy our “girl talks”, our shopping trips and special little laughs that we have.  although you are your own person, i am your first glimpse as to how a woman should conduct herself, manage her home, children and relationships – my role in your life is a staple for your future.  i must always make sure that i play my role correctly.  your presence is one of my driving forces to be a better person, successful and a positive role model.  princess, God has given you all the tools that you will ever need in order to reach your goals in life.  for 12 years i’ve had a front row seat at watching your personality blossom, your mind expand with knowledge and your fearless approach to life.  how cool is that?  daughter,  i just simply adore you.  i pray that this year you will be catapulted into mind blowing experiences that will excite you about your future and will enhance your growth and intellect.  may you have the best year yet and that its full of surprises that will keep a smile on your face.  i love you.

one last thing, for your birthday last year you requested to go to six flags as your gift.  this year you’ll be getting in formation….you’re going to see your favorite singer….. BEYONCE live in concert!!! Surprise 🙂

happy birthday to my gem, princess taylor image

“wisdom is better than rubies; and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to her.” proverbs 8:11

bitter and sweet

my husband cheated.  got the side chick pregnant. denied the affair.  i kicked him out of our home.  he kept the baby a secret for a year.  i started over with myself and children. there, i said it.  beyonce’s new album “lemonade” could not have come at a better time.  i’ve been contemplating writing a post on the topic of my divorce, the journey of forgiveness, and my eventual deliverance. then i’m hit with news of a may wedding featuring my ex-husband and………. guess who?

fyi: de-liv-er-ance

  1. the act of delivering or the condition being delivered.
  2. rescue from bondage or danger.
  3. a publicly expressed opinion or judgement, such as the verdict of a jury.
  4. rescue from moral corruption or evil; salvation.

at times i have difficulty articulating exactly how i’m feeling. trying to translate my thoughts, which are complex beyond comprehension, has been a challenge.  but this album happened. watching her visual album set the tone, but listening to the words gave life to the way i wanted to share certain nuggets of my story.

like so many women, i was handed the lemon, infidelity.  like so many women, i can pin point the exact moment when my womanly instincts alerted me that a storm was coming. however, without hard core evidence i’m not one to nag and pester a man, life moved on. despite the clouds hovering over our marriage, we decided to try for a third baby to bring completion with our family.  during this time, the affair was fresh in the beginning stages – he was inexperienced.  somewhere between the 9th and 11th week of my pregnancy i miscarried.

it was a loss and a pain that was unimaginable. we decided try again for a third baby – pregnancy was a success, but my marriage was deteriorating.  maybe my hormones heighten my senses because i was able to see that the atmosphere in my home had shifted, the storm turned into a tsunami and i was no longer comfortable or covered.  to make a long story short, i asked, he lied, i asked again, he admitted, we separated then the divorce process started.

i can remember the bitter and tart taste of revenge.  i was furious, embarrassed, alone, betrayed, neglected and rejected. i wanted revenge – bad.  if i had never experienced hate towards someone, i did then.  its amazing how i was able to get free from those chains because i was locked in to returning the gift of pain.  speaking of pain, i was drowning in it.  the more i cried the more i felt the hate.  just the thought of being hurt was hurtful.  here i am, lying on the floor with his unlocked cell phone in my hands as he’s asleep in our bed, i’m reading sexually explicit texts between him and his pregnant side chick.  ironically, i’m being labeled the crazy one for snapping and cussing him out. i’m being told to calm down.  i was trapped somewhere between the lies and tears.  i had just been shitted on in the worst way.  his team of co-conspirators stood silent in my presence, while behind my back they celebrated his new promising future.  they were given strict instructions to keep secret of his new life and new job – thinking it may make his child support increase.  i was over being the butt of the secret and wanted out.

first, no one gets married to get a divorce.  high school loves, ten years of marriage and 3 children later i’m faced with a wife’s worst thought – a failed dream. thats when my process began.  the story goes on and there are many parts that led me to my healing and i’m so grateful for that process.  at this stage of my life, i’m proud of myself for being honest, for each tear that rolled down my face and made a home inside of my pillow.  its because of that very process that i’m happy for my cheating ex-husband – the person that promised to honor me til death did us part.  certain men need to be married – my ex husband happens to be one of them.  in no way is this a bad thing because technically we all need someone.  for a lot of men, adding a wife to their team brings stability and order into their lives and lets face it, i have three children with this man – outside of me, he needs assistance in raising them.

i’m sure the burning question for most is “how did i become ok with the other woman?”  let me be clear, she and i are not friends.  we do not hang out, we do not socialize or enjoy deep conversations.  i’m good with them because i became great within myself.  because of that I can be in the same room with her and not think twice about choking her or ramming her head through a window.  i’ve not only moved on, but i grew up.  in no way did their deceitfulness ruin me or make me think less of myself.  although it took time for me to rebuild again, i did not take on the role of placing all of his burdens on me.  before starting my business, before the man of my dreams entered, before my transition to living downtown i had to go through the process of trust.  trusting in my faith like never before was a task like no other.  i could not believe that God let that shit happen.  the ‘why’s’, ‘how’s’ and the ‘when’s’ were constant opening questions in my prayers.  i kept a tight circle of my closest friends around me to vent to and to cry on their shoulders.  everything was a process and i respected that. my vulnerability became my strength.

so here i am a week away from sharing the same last name with the other woman who also now shares a part of my family.  she’s about to make the same vows to the exact same man saying the exact same words “let no man tear apart what God has brought together”.  see what i just did?

i love my children so much that i chose to not make a mockery out of myself because children are visual.  if all they’ve ever seen from their mom was yelling, screaming, cussing, crying – and acting a fool – that would do some type of damage to their childhood.  i can’t teach and train my children to be respectful and forgiveness if i remained in bondage.  my life’s disaster turned into the perfect parenting training for raising my children.  i became so obsessed with becoming successful, achieving my dreams and living the life that i know God wants me to have that i became less focused on my ex husband and his fucked-upness.  my life was turning around for the better.  i had taken all of those lemons that had been thrown at me and began using them to garnish my life like a fine expensive french cuisine from marcel’s.  i did more than just make lemonade out of those lemons.

i had made peace within myself, which then extended to making peace with him.  forgiveness can look different to different people.  i like the feeling of freedom and holding grudges doesn’t equate to freedom.  sure i was betrayed and i did have every right to cussing both him and her out – but that season had to come to an end.  i mean, did i want to spend the rest of my life being the angry ex-wife?  hell no!  i had better things to do with my time, my children and my life.  as for my ex-husband, i wish him nothing but the best in his future.  i believe that he too has learned (and may still be learning) his lesson which has contributed to his maturity as a man and a father.  i need for him to be responsible and aware of his actions because our children are watching.

lemons are used for healing wounds, infections, illnesses and a hosts of other things.  i just squeezed harder to get the juice.  life is much easier and more relaxed for my children and i.  the goal for me has always been to be a great woman that my children will be proud of and can learn from.  the redemption that i have now is far more sweeter than the revenge that i was first after.  i sleep better, i laugh longer, i eat great, my finances are in order, my body is sexier, my love runs deeper and my endurance is stronger.  thank you for the those lemons.  my lemonade wouldn’t be so sweet if the lemons weren’t so bitter.

champagne-lemonade, anyone?



barre so hard

like most women, i’m particular with how i want my body to look, feel and move.  i’m very feminine and i want my body to model my personality.  i feel  most sexiest with myself when my curves are soft and my torso is long and lean.  i like to fit into my clothing with easy instead of having to stuff myself into a pair of jeans or a skirt.  being comfortable in my skin and looking the way that i want is an important part of my overall well being.  in my line of work i use my hands to make other people’s hands to look their best.  my neck is always looking down, my shoulders and back are always slouched over.  usually by the end of my work day i’m pooped, exhausted – done.  i used to have the best posture, but all of a sudden i’ve started having lower back problems and waking up stiff and tired.

for me, the only way to keep my energy levels up, for my body fit and maintain a healthy lifestyle is for me to have a daily workout regimen.  the dilemma i’ve  faced was not partaking in a hardcore workout.  i’ve tried the crossfire workout.  i’ve hired a personal trainer.  i’m a self-starter and would go to workout myself.  the truth of the matter was that i was over all of that.  so i decided to try yoga.  i’ll be the first to say that i was a bit reluctant to try it.  my first experience with yoga was hot yoga – never again (thanks rasheeda).

imageaside from yoga (which i love and will blog about later), my body was missing a cardio workout.  i stumbled upon barre off a conversation that i had with a client.  after doing the research about barre and the history of it, i compared companies to decide which would be the best fit for me – i joined barre3 in buckhead.  although, i’m a trained dancer, after my first barre session, it was clear that i was truly out of shape in terms of dancing.  barre uses positioning extensively use in ballet training and warm up exercises, yoga and pilates.  all three are very easy on your joints.  to my surprise, i really did not know how much of a workout it actually is.

facts about barre 


  • will make you stronger: the isometric contractions that make up the bulk of a barre class occurs when the muscle tenses without changing length. what’s wonderful about the one-inch movements is that you can hold a posture and benefit from continuously engaging the muscle, but you also get a mini-recovery with each pulse, so you can stay in the hold longer.
  • multiple muscle groups are targeted all at once: it’s a highly efficient (and addictive) workout. because you’re doing two to four movements—holding, pulsing, stretching—at a time within each move. this also helps to raise the heart rate.
  • mind and body awareness: what i’ve gathered from the smaller movements in my barre class is that it has brought a new level of awareness to my body that i never got in a regular strength workouts. barre has improved my muscular activation for frequently underused muscles.  image
  • endurance booster: with the constant strength training my energy levels are amazing higher.
  • weight loss: i’ve read somewhere that barre targets the largest muscle groups in the body (like the thighs and glutes). the larger the muscle, the more calories burned. my target goal is to stay lean and and barre class, along with yoga, my body’s muscle mass is more lean.  just after day 5 of barre my body started to transform!
  • strengthening my core:  barre engages your core the entire time. image throughout my session, my arms, thighs and abs are working.  you are always engaging, and therefore strengthening, the core as well. having a strong core will totally increase your performance in any other activities in life.


my experience with barre has renewed my body’s strength and flexibility.  my body craves it whenever i’ve missed a session.  although barre is tiring, you will leave feeling accomplished and rejuvenated.  you do not have to be a trained dancer to experience barre nor do you have to feel intimidated.  barre does challenges your body to a complete space of uncomfortableness, that makes you test your endurance levels.  however, i do encourage you to try at least one session – the experience alone will leave a lasting impression with you!


thank you for reading and remember to leave any comments or questions!  follow me on instagram @qtrob and you can also email me at


how to select the right skin care line

happy feburary!  i perform a lot of beauty services weekly and what i hear most from clients is their struggle to find the right skin care line.  selecting the right skin care line is a lot like finding the perfect black dress – there are so many out there, but only one will fit you perfectly.  after reading this be sure to head over to r-beauty-block on how to purchase products for your skin.

the basics image

do you know your skin type?  before purchasing an over-the-counter skin care product line (which i don’t recommend if you’re looking for real results) there are a few facts that you need to know.  it doesn’t matter whether skin is dry, oily or sensitive, selecting the wrong product could greatly impact how the product interacts with your skin.

start a daily skin care routine: to have success with most skin care products is being repetitive with the process.  creating a daily routine is highly recommended and important, especially with anti-aging creams.  please do not get discouraged – be patient.  usually it may be six to eight weeks before you can see  improvements with over-the-counter remedies.

be cautious of the “instant”  products: products that seem “too good to be true” probably are.  stick with a reputable line, which will be the best bet and more effective and safe.

do your homework:  before purchasing products – read the labels to find the active ingredients.  it’s okay to look up the ingredients and to also ask questions to a skin care professional.

use sunscreen:  skin should be protected from the sun is important. be sure to purchase beauty moisturizers and/or creams that contain at least SPF 30.  this will help to maintain your skin’s youthful appearance by reducing the appearance of age spots, fine lines and wrinkles.

face mapping Facemap

Face Mapping, is Dermalogica’s unique skin analysis that provides insight into your skin’s past and present, and allows the subsequent prescription of a targeted home care regime for a healthy skin future.

a dermalogica professional skin therapist uses Face Mapping® to divide the facial landscape into fourteen zones. each zone is examined to determine where conditions such as congestion, breakouts, dehydration, and/or hyperpigmentation are present.

when i was in school for esthetics, I was trained with dermalogica.  maybe this has something to do with them being my favorite skin care line.  however, the product is great and i highly recommend you trying it.  be sure to head over to the r block on how to start investing in a skin care line.

educate yourself on the ingredientsExfoliating skincare

it’s very tempting to buy skin care products because of their nice packaging, luring  advertisements, friendly sales reps or celebrity endorsements.   but, the main factor in selecting a skin care line always comes down to one major factor: what is in the bottle – the ingredients – because that’s what will create results for your complexion.

here is my guide to assist you with picking out skin care products.

the best active ingredients.

it’s best to go in to buying a skin care product knowing what active ingredients are proven to address your skin issues and then look for products containing those ingredients.

alpha hydroxy acids – exfoliation, acne, pigmentation, fine lines and wrinkles, overall skin radiance
alpha lipoic acid – redness, wrinkles, scarring, inflammation and overall skin radiance
benzoyl peroxide – acne
copper peptides – skin regeneration, skin firmness, skin healing
DMAE – skin firming
green tea extract – sun damage repair, intensive antioxidants, wrinkles, skin rejuvenation
idebenone – fine lines, wrinkles, skin texture
mandelic ccid – acne, fine lines and wrinkles
vitamin c  – wrinkles, sun damage repair, skin texture

your skin care products should contain active ingredients that are safe and highly effective, but they should have high enough concentrations that the ingredient is actually effective – usually in the 5-15% range. the active ingredient should be listed at or near the top of the ingredient list.  if it is at the bottom of the list then it’s a small component of the product.  this means the active ingredient is not in a high enough concentration to make much of an impact on your skin.

how will do you know the oils.

for the most part, all skin care treatments contains at least some oil.  oils serves as the emulsifier in the product.  but, while some oils are completely safe, others are extremely pore clogging and can make your skin congested and break out. Here are the safe oils that will not break you out:

argon; avocado; coconut; jojoba; macadamia nut; neem; safflower; soybean; sunflower seed; vegetable

ingredients to stay away from

synthetic fragrances are a no-no

products that contain phthalates and  synthetic chemicals are commonly used to stabilize fragrances and make plastic more pliable. these chemicals are known to be endocrine disrupters and can mimic hormones and may alter genital development. unless a label states that the fragrance listed was derived from an essential oil – don’t purchase the product.

beware of the parabens: methylparaben, propylparaben, isoparaben, or butylparaben

parabens are used to preserve other ingredients and extend a product’s shelf life.  parabens are antimicrobial chemicals that have been linked to having hormone-disrupting effects. also, they cause skin irritation and can increase the risk of breast cancer.

stay away from the petrochemicals: petrolatum, mineral oil and paraffin

made from crude oil.  petroleum-based ingredients such as petroletum, mineral oil, baby oil and paraffin form a barrier when applied to the skin that does not allow it to breathe and clogs pores.  petroleum is NOT a moisturizer.  it does not hydrate or add moist to your skin.  in fact, it does the reverse.

yikes!  the sulfates

common sulfates are sodium lauryl and sodium laureth.  they are harsh detergents that give cleansers, soaps, and shampoos their latherability.  sulfates are made from petroleum.  sulfates are used as garage floor cleaners, car wash and oils for cars. sulfates are extremely pore clogging.

the drugstore skin care products

the mass-merchandised brands(neutorgena, noxzema, olya) sold at drugstores are created to work for hundreds of thousands of users.  these lines play it safe with lower concentrations of active ingredients and adds a lot of fillers, synthetics and parabens, which can keep costs low and extend the shelf life.

the department store skin care products

products sold at department stores have one goal in mind – is to sell!  these companies know they have to catch your eye when you walk down the department store aisles. Also, these companies know that people will open and smell the products, so they use a lot of perfume additives because they know that smell sells!  fragrance is the number one cause of reactions from skin care products.  the truth of the matter, many people who believe they have sensitive skin are in fact just sensitive to added fragrance!

thanks for reading!  please remember that your skin is important – you must take care of it!  leave a comment or email me


keeping my relationship private

happy new year everyone!  i do hope that each of you has had a great start to 2016.  so here is the first post of the year.

recently, i’ve been thinking if there are any real benefits to publicizing your romantic relationships?  there are those relationships that are filled with splendor and love which makes us want to share it with the world – proving love is truly grand.  i love the “butterfly feeling” that consumes me once i begin to fall in love.  or the excitement of talking to my girlfriends about the new man that has swept me off my feet.  i love it all.  but, i also love my privacy.  there’s something to be said about discretion – it’s necessary.  so before i get to deep with my post, i think its only necessary for me to state… this is my opinion and my preferred method in managing my love life.  also, if you are being harmed or abused in any form, you must speak out.

now that that’s out of the way, let us continue…….

my boyfriend and I have been dating for a couple of years now.  he’s great – he is extremely good to me, beautiful inside and out, intelligent, hard working, an excellent father – the list just goes on and i probably can yap about this man all day, but i won’t.  i’m a giving person, but at what point do I keep something for myself?  i’ve made a conscious decision to share small portions about my relationship to a select few.

after my divorce i decided to date on my terms.  by “terms” i mean not considering whether or not this person is good enough for my friends.  after all, i’m the one he’s seeing – not my friends or family.  if i believe that he’s good enough for me then that’s all that really matters.  i also set a new dating agenda that had released me from anyone’s standards of how or who i should date.  i wasn’t too vocal about what i was looking for in a man, besides the obvious generic traits (nice, respectable, honest, etc.).  within the parameters of my agenda, i made a personal decree to keep my love life private.  don’t get me wrong, i have sought out advice to some of my friends and even have shared some private things about my relationship with them, but not everything.  what we consume from people’s opinions, television and/or social media has misguided us when it comes to the dating experience.  within my circle of friends growing up, introducing your guy to the crew was a rite of passage – that was broken by me.

imageafter meeting my guy and before it became serious, i was pretty hush hush.  months had passed before i even introduced him to my mother.  the first photo that i posted of him on instagram was of half his face with a dark filter added.  i was teased, but i liked the mystery surrounding him, hence his alias given name, blue or ázul.  i was dating my way.  because i had no real interest in touring him around the city going from house to house, i was enjoying us.  my people could tell i was happy just off of the energy i carried or the constant smile that stayed glued on my face!

another reason for me keeping my relationship private is for my sanity.  during the split from my ex-husband i felt obligated to share my pain with friends.  let me be clear, the obligation was self-applied and at no time did anyone make me talk about what i was feeling – it was therapeutic.  however, one can only keep repeating the same story over again until it starts to drive one crazy.  now that I’m happily in love, i still chose to be discret and avoid having that same effect – driving myself crazy!

i’m an active instagram and facebook user.  I enjoy posting about my children, my profession and every once in a while a post about my guy will appear.  however, in the world of social media we can get trapped in thrusting our love lives out on display.  we’re so proud and happy that we feel obligated to share our most intimate parts of our lives.  then, God forbid, a break-up….. now all of your followers want the scoop.  listen, if you’re going to post and share just be ready for what comes along with that – other people’s comments and opinions.  outside of me being a private person, those very reasons are examples of why i have safeguarded my relationship.

whether married or dating, there’s beauty in having some exclusivity about your love life.    if your mate showers you with the best gifts or sends you 10,000 sweet texts – does everyone need to know?  what is there to prove?  my advice is to free yourself from the obligation of public display and telling all of your relationship business to everybody.  just enjoy your relationship and allow things to fall in place naturally.

thank you for reading and remember to leave your comments or send me an email at  you can also find me on instagram @qtrob or twitter @qt_rob.



telling the tales of the vagina…pt.2

my last blog post of 2015!!! first, i would like to give all of my hundreds of readers a BIG cyber hug.  thank you for the love, your comments, tweets, emails, DMs, etc….. thank you.

vaginal detox pearls

imagelet’s cut right to the chase – yep, i’ve used them. was i a bit nervous about trying them out? a little. was i a skeptic? yes. the female body is so remarkablely amazing yet such a complex machine. in my opinion, the womb is probably this most powerful part of a woman’s anatomy.   unfortunately, it can hold tight to toxins, as well. due to poor diets, chemicals and stress our wombs can fill up with toxins that causes us to become imbalanced. there are some major vaginal imbalances which can include bacteria vaginosis, yeast infections, endometriosis, infertility, vaginal pain, excess bleeding, vaginal dryness, polycystic ovarian syndrome, or fibroids. how does one get rid of those symptoms holistically?

how do the pearls work? do they work?

i ordered my pearls from the organic vaginal steam company (the same company that provides at home vaginal steam baths at your home) here in atlanta.  for starters, I ordered three pearls for $12.  the herbal pearls contain potent traditional herbs that aid in the removal of toxins from the vagina. osthol – strengthens the uterus, kills parasites and relieves itching. rhizoma – helps to stop hot flashes and removes toxins. motherwort and angelica – is a known herb that regulates menstruation and removes toxins, as well. after the pearls are inserted inside the vagina, the herbs begin to break down the build up of toxins that are prohibting the vagina from operating and functioning normally.

my results: as the directions states to leave all three pearls inside of the vaginal for 3 days. after the first 24 hours i began to experience slight leakage. i knew to wear a pad – something told me too!  glad i did.  after 48 hours my leakage remained the same – not to light not too heavy.  i could tell that something was taking place inside of my womb. the suspense was killing me. i could not wait to see the results.  so day 3 arrived and passed. the next morning i removed the pearls slowly in anticipation for the worst – there was nothing. no blood clots, no yucky mucus tissue, no nothing.  i think a part of me felt disappointed, but then another part of me felt relieved. i was relieved knowing that my vagina was healthy.  overall, i do believe that the pearls did cleanse my vagina of any foreign toxins and i will be trying them again. the pearls my not be for everyone, but if interested, i do recommend that you read reviews and speak to your physician first.

why i only use organic tampons, pads and panty liners

imageever wonder where your uti’s, yeast infections, endometriosis or hormonal issues stem from? you may want to check your feminine hygiene products.  did you know that most tampons and pads are bleached with chlorine?  yep!  the toxic byproduct called dioxin, is a link to cancer and endometriosis.  have you ever noticed the label that reads “elemental chlorine-free bleaching”?  well, this bleaching process is not free of chlorine, but it means that it is not a chlorine gas bleaching process.
about 25% of the world’s pesticide is sprayed on cotton. pesticides have been linked to affect the health of humans in a major way from infertility, hormonal imbalance, even cancer.  feminine care product manufactures are involved in spraying these pesticide chemicals onto the cotton that tampons are made from.

imagesince 2006, i’ve been using natracare organic products.  natracare products are made from certified organic and natural, plant-derived materials that are chemical and additive free, and biodegradable, containing only organic and natural ingredients sourced from sound ecologically managed producers and certified free from animal testing.  another reason why i prefer using this line is because it doesn’t contain any synthetic materials or chemicals. because i have to use feminine products each month, i prefer to use one that is heathier for my body.

mess-free period sex, really?

now that i have your attention, let me explain. a year ago, while at dinner with my dear friend, ms. president (not really her name), introduced me to the softcup.

me: what’s that?

her: only the greatest creation for women! she had my attention.

i had never heard of such a product, but after she schooled me on the benefits of using one, i was all game. i’ve been a long time tampon user and whenever the talks of menstrual cups came up it wasn’t really something that i jumped up at.  but the softcup grabbed after my curiosity – and i’m so thankful that it did!

my hope is that all women will use safe products and to know their options. with that being said, the softcup is a safe alternative to tampons and/or pads.  health wise, they do not contain the toxins that the other disposable products do.  also, there are no known direct links to toxic shock syndrome, which can be deadly and difficult to recognize.

so, after dinner, i followed my girlfriend home to get a softcup from her.  although i was nervous to use it, i rarely turn down a challenge.  sidebar:: i did make a declaration to her that i would be face timing her if i came across difficulty with the inserting of the cup! of course she laughed – i was dead ass serious. the first thing i noticed was that the softcup was to be inserted differently than a tampon. to insert the softcup you have to squeeze the sides of the band to flatten the ‘O’ and then insert being sure to get the cup just behind the cervix and then tilting the front of the band up slightly to get a secure fit. to remove you’ll just slip your finger under the rim of the cup and pull it out level. once removed you can simply empty the cup.  

image     image

check out the video demonstration below:

i honestly love using the softcup. this perfect creation is great for those who have started their periods on the day of their wedding, honeymoon, special occasions or vacations.  it is true, you can have mess-free period sex with the softcup – if inserted correctly.  my first time use of it wasn’t so bad.  i mean, i was paranoid because i wasn’t sure how it would hold up.  it has taken me a couple of times to perfect the positioning and inserting of it correctly.  the first time i used it, i cleaned “down there” really well.  maybe that played a part in its being far cleaner and neater than i expected. i left it in throughout the night and went for another round, just to see if it would hold up. i eventually got out of my head and forgot it was in there, which made the entire situation far more pleasurable.  in the morning, i removed it while in the shower – my preferred method.  okay ladies, let me answer you most pressing question –  no your partner does not feel it.  but, if you’re not being discreet about it, then he may focus on trying to search for it.  as for me, a lady never tells!  the softcup can be purchased online or at walgreens.

thank you again for the support.  i will have a new 2016 post up and ready in january!  happy new year to you all!



telling the tales of the vagina…pt.1

vaginas aren’t gross, period.  no pun intended.  orgasms and birthing babies are two of the most glorious, liberating and speechless experiences that are direct results from the vagina.  who told or taught you that your vagina is to be treated like a second class citizen?  mine has been good to me, so i must remain good to her!  i must admit, this blog post took some time due to the research and recordings from my personal results.  if you’re a woman then you have a vagina – you must take care of her, period.  several days ago on instagram i posted about taking a mirror to look and examine your  vagina.  image  do you know how many ladies inboxed me stating how they have never taken the time out to look “down there”….a lot!  although all organs and body parts are important and should be taken care of regardless.  however, the vagina should be a top priority – if you’re a woman that is.  it’s no secret that I’m a pretty open individual when it comes to my beauty regimens and taking care of my body.  my vagina is sexually experienced, has pushed out three 7 lbs 12 ounce babies, decides to shed blood once a month and is constantly being washed and wiped several times on a daily basis.  detoxing her is so not an option, it’s a lifestyle requirement.

i decided to open up with my readers about my journey of vaginal steaming, detoxing and how I maintain a healthy pH for my beloved lady part.  first up – detoxing!  there are plenty of detox programs throughout the country, due to the increasing number of people who are becomeing more concerned about the negative health effects of life. we are exposed to chemicals in our daily lives, including products we topically use or ingest.  so society has turned to detox programs to aid in the cleansing of our bodies to rid them of harmful substances. vaginal detox is the most recent  innovation in the world of detoxing.  this process allows women to cleanse their most private area!  of course we’ve heard and know that the vagina is a self-cleaning organ, but having a vaginal steam bath is not a bad thing to experience.

to steam or not to steam image

the vagina steam bath has become the most common way of detoxing the vagina.  here in atlanta,  je-ju wellness sauna and spa (pronounced JAY-JEW), the organic vagi steam company, the sweet spot and ju-tox (all located in the metro-atlanta area) are were they perform the herbal vaginal steam cleansing. the organic vaginal steam company provides the service right in the comfort of your own home for those of you that aren’t quite ready to share your steaming with others.  my preference now is to be private and on the more exclusive side.  i’m no longer interested in the group thing.  my last couple of experiences has turned me off due to noise and the professionalism of the staff.

although this procedure is ritually done in many countries over the world, it has become another form of detoxing amongst westernized women.  eastern asian women steam after their monthly periods. this procedure is a centuries-old technique that has gained a rapid popularity in the holistic communities, wellness therapy clinics and spas. here’s the skinny:  women can go to speciality spas for the steaming.  they sit on a chair with a hole in the middle of the seat while steaming herbs infused in water is placed below this chair. mugwort, red raspberry, dong quai are just a few herbs that are included in the cleansing.  image

when i first heard of the vagina steam bath a few years ago, i was immediately interested.  my first time was with one of my girlfriends.  we were in this little room with a drape like poncho over us.  the procedure was very non-invasive and lasted about 40 minutes.  my girlfriend and i sat there in total awe of our vaginas being steamed by the way of a crock pot.  at one point, the steam got a little too much, but we were able to adjust the temperature.  we laughed like school girls and told inappropriate jokes and later compared notes on whether or not our significant others could tell a difference *wink wink*. side note ladies:  the higher the temperature does not mean the quicker the results.  your experience should be comfortable and pain-free.

i can’t lie, my vagina felt brand new.  who would i be to not examine myself after being steamed?  so, I grabbed a mirror and began to observe. just after one steaming session my vagina’s texture slightly changed – in a good way.  tightness was apart of the results along with a lighter menstrual cycle, no symptoms of my period cravings or bloating.  as for the internal results, my body by-passed the pre-period clear discharge that would occur when my body is dehydrated.  i still go once a month to have it done.  the cost of having a vaginal steam ranges between $35-$50.

it is said that the youngest a woman can be to get a vaginal detox is 18.  as for me, i was 33 years old when I was introduced and started the treatment.  however, i’ll probably introduce my daughter to the treatment after she turns 21 years old.  my recommendation is for you to find the right fit for your needs.  do not just go anywhere – cleanliness and santiation is top priority.  it’s okay to ask questions on their cleaning procedures, the process and time before booking your appointment.

how do you know if you need a vaginal detox

having frequent yeast or bacterial infections are usually the first sign that your vagina needs detoxifying. another sign is of vaginal irritation.  this can come from symptoms of toxic exposure.  for example, i wash my hands before i use the restroom to avoid germs from being transferred to my vaginal area.  

vaginal detox is said to alleviate and/or cures:

  • burning
  • redness
  • itchiness
  • discomfort
  • infertilty
  • bacteria vaginitis
  • yeast infections
  • hemorrhoids
  • menstrual cramps
  • fibroids
  • endometriosis
  • vaginal odor

to prevent vaginal toxic symptoms you should try to avoid using feminine hygiene sprays, use gentle no dye detergents on your undergarments, use dye free and artificial fragrance free soaps and wipe front to back after using the restroom.  if you’re having sexual intercourse between 3-5 times a week, having a vaginal steaming sessions should be schedule once a month after your cycle.

the bv issue and holistic douching methods

imagewhen I was seven months pregnant with my first baby I had bv.  my ob-gyn told me that bv is very common in pregnant woman due to the lack of dairy intake, the amount of carbs they are eating, not drinking enough water and also not wiping correctly due to the weight gain.  she prescribed me an antibiotic and the problem went away.  although i’m okay there are thousands of women struggling with this.  keeping in mind, this can be reoccurring if not dealt with.  there are a few common symptoms that include an excessive vaginal discharge, sometimes accompanied with a fishy odor, along with itching and pain during urination.  after researching this annoying infection, i found that experts are not sure what can cause the bacteria to get out of balance.  i found that there are certain factors that can increase a woman’s risk of the infection. factors can include: having more than one sex partner, a new sex partner, excessive smoking, and douching.  after reading, skip over to r beauty block for holistic remedies of that you can do to get rid of bv, vaginal odor and yeast infections!

ladies, this is only part 1, i’ll be posting post 2 shortly!  i do hope that you found this to be informative and maybe even helpful.  please feel free to leave comments or shoot me an email at  thank you for reading.



starting each post off with its first sentence is always the hardest part for me.  coming up with a title is second.   today, 10.28, is my 35th birthday and i thought i would share my ultimate beauty secret with you.  her name is bernice.  from as far back as i can remember my mother has always exuded femininity, sexiness, strength mixed with a bunch of sass making her one hell of a woman.  whenever i want to describe my mother, i liken her to a rose – my favorite flower. roses are the most sought after flower all over the world because of their beauty and the representation of love.  just like the rose, my mother is beautiful and is the perfect example of love.  my mother’s rose garden consist of seven children, 5 girls and 2 boys; 14 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren. i’m always being commended on how well i’m raising my children, that’s because i learned from the best – my mother.   IMG_8831 my mother mothered in styled.  whether she was going to work or to the grocery store, she looked fabulous.  my mother made no excuse to give a reason as to why she looked a mess; that’s because she never looked anything less than a million dollars!  IMG_8778

unbeknownst to her, for the past 35 years my mother has been my beauty instructor. my mind is filled with countless memories of my mother taking the time out of her day to pamper herself. manicured nails, flawless hair, well dressed and not to mention her petite chiseled frame that was to be envied.  IMG_8782

over the past 35 years, i’ve seen my mother strut around the house in her short shorts, polished toes and nails picking up our toys off of the floor.IMG_8787 i’ve observed the way my mother walked into the room and heads would turn.  i saw the attention she silently commanded.  my mother was and still is a powerhouse.  roses are known to tolerate a wide variety of growing conditions.  the strength that she posses is to be compared to none.  no matter what my mother faced, she remained victorious.

the smell and color of a rose is its signature.  my mother has a signature – her perfume and her lipstick.  the perfume she’d wear was giorgio by giorgio armani; this was in the 80’s!  her scent would warm up whatever room she was in and she always smelled sweet and spicy – kinda like her personality!  this woman is rarely seen without wearing her red (go figure) lipstick.  anyone that my mother greeted with a kiss would leave with her lip imprinted on their cheek.  her signature!  IMG_8776

i’m often asked if i take time out for myself.  yes.  my mother may have not verbalized the importance for a woman to pamper herself, but she showed it.  on sunday afternoons, my mother would be watching the basketball game while polishing her nails or watching a movie while sitting underneath the hair dryer with a facial mask on!  she made no excuse for looking and feeling good.

roses are used apart of a decor or brought to brighten up someone’s day.  my mother was always put together.  bernice would come home, after working all day, and cook dinner – in her heels!  because she worked in corporate america she had to dress the part.  my mother is fancy and grand, so jewelry, high heels and furs were an essential part of her wardrobe.  my mother never walking around the house in baggy sweat pants, an oversized sweat shirt with a scarf on.

a scarf for her was usually paired with her coat or it was placed on her head to protect her freshly curled hair.   her lounge wear consist of nike biking shorts or leggings.  one time i was going through my mother’s clothes and to my surprise, i found her lingerie collection!  where most children would feel embarrassed with knowing their mother wore lingerie for her husband, i tucked that away in my memory bank to do the same for myself once I got married.

IMG_8793 bernice has always had a small frame, but one thing that my mother held herself accountable to was her health. growing up, not too many of my friend’s moms were running laps around the local high school’s track or doing pilates.  when i was in high school, my mother had me drinking raw apple cider vinegar each morning.  she knew all of the benefits that came from just a small daily consumption of acv.  she also knew how beneficial is was to soak your body in a warm bath – hence her weekly bubble baths!  once i hit puberty i began to slouch over my shoulders to hit my budding breast – my mother quickly put a stop to that.  she knew that having rounded shoulders would create bad posture for me.

IMG_8775IMG_8794-0in my eyes, my mother has been very well-rounded, which in turn allotted me a well-rounded childhood.  my mother placed me in extracurricular activities such as track & field, beauty pageants, piano lessons, modeling school and a host of others.  also, being that my mother was my first beauty instructor she taught me how to care for my hair, cleanse my skin & body parts properly, clip and polish my finger nails – i mean the list just goes on and on….  but, you know how people say the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree?  my grandmother, johnnie, was that tree!  my grandmother embodied everything my mother possess.  my grandmother was in a league of her own.


there are so many nuggets that my mother has deposited in my 35 years, that i can write a book.  i’m thankful to come from such a beautiful garden of roses.  sometimes i like to think that i’m still blooming and blossoming through life. so on this very special day i would like to extend my gratitude towards my two beautiful roses, my daughter – taylor and my mother – bernice.  it’s because of the both of you that i’m free to owning my femininity while embracing motherhood.  my relentless pursuit to being best woman and mother that I can be comes from you two.  mommy, i hope you enjoy your 35 roses….because i’ve been blessed to have enjoyed you for 35 years and look forward in showering you with plenty more.  taylor, this single rose represents you being my first love, my only daughter and my number one.  because of you, the little treasures my grandmother and mother taught me will live on through you.  i love you, princess! 


that body

our bodies are similar to cars.  the daily wear we place on our bodies can be in comparison to the milage that we add onto cars.  a lot of times we don’t even realize what we are doing and how we are contributing to the speed of the aging process.  we are all guilty of going through life and taking our bodies for granted – as if we can get a replacement body!  i’ve been in the spa industry for about 12 plus years, and the very best thing that i could have ever started for myself was receiving monthly facials and massages.

receiving spa services have been looked upon more as a luxury lifestyle – i beg to differ. one of the things about what i have a chance to do is to educate people about how therapeutic spa services are.  i like to think of massages, facials and nail care being tied not only into the beauty industry, but to the health and wellness arena as well.  most people over look the fact that our skin is an organ.  just like any other organ, we must take good care of our skin.  the type of food our we consume, the skin care products we use and the amount of water we drink all effect our skin; which in turn contributed to our aging process, stress levels and the conditions of our skin.

recently i went on a trip to las vegas, nevada.  while i was there i visited the luxor hotel‘s nurture spa.  what made this resort attrative to me was their use of my favorite skin care line, dermalogica!  nurture’s staff was exteremly friendly, the facility was clean and the atmosphere was relaxing.  it was a nice escape from the vegas madness.

imageimagemy esthetician, laura, who happens to be the spa’s lead esthetician. laura, was very knowledgeable, which made me feel comfortable and more trusting with her.  it is extremely important for a client to feel relaxed and at ease before any service is taken place; imagethe experience for both the client and therapist will be more fulfilling.  this facial included deep cleansing, extractions, mask, warm towels, steam, skin analysis, hand & facial massage.  about halfway through my 50 minute dermalogica customized facial, i was asleep; that should tell you how relaxed i was!  that was probably my favorite facial thus far. imagenext, imagei decided to add on a 50 minute deep tissue massage; greg was my therapist.  greg was great!  he was very thorough and detailed. there’s nothing like having a great massage (i will continue on about that later).  i enjoyed my 5 hour experience at nurture.  yes, 5 hours….i utilized the entire spa’s facility (steam room, whirlpool & sauna).

my next spa experience was in bradenton, florida.  i had the pleasure of staying at the world renowned, img academy.  img is known to have helped train and prepare sports greats such as, venus and serena williams, cam newton, andre agassi and many others.  the resort has an onsite spa, the wellness spa.  this spa was beautiful and it gave off the same kind of refreshing atmosphere as nurture did.  this is an aveda concept spa; aveda is on my top 10 list of favorite products! however, i did not opt for an aveda facial – i booked a pevonia essential signature hour facial with donna.  imagepevonia botanical is best characterized as a spa based botanical skin care with clinical edge!  i loved how my face felt afterwards.  the papaya-pineapple peel was amazing!  donna was wonderful and her pressure was nice and firm.

now, here comes the good part.  mary.  mary was my massage therapist.  i believe that i gained my entire life back with one hour.  mary has over 13 years of experience in massage therapy – you can tell she does.  mary is a neuromuscular massage therapist which places her in another realm above other therapists. imageher attention to detail, muscle knowledge and knowing the body’s exact pressure points were absolutely mind blowing. she was able to reach my main problem back muscle by applying pressure from my underarm.  i actually felt taller after my massage session.  funny thing is, i booked a second massage the next morning with her.  she was worth every dollar!

pediatric massage therapy

check out the r block for my diy massage oil recipe to use on your child(ren)

although i know the importance of massage therapy, mary inspired me to take massage to another level.  my children are no rookies when it comes to world of spa.  as infants, i would massage their little bodies every night after bath time to help them relax and fall asleep.  my daughter, taylor, received her first manicure and pedicure at 18 months old and her first facial was by the age of 2.  however, my daughter is now 11 years-old and is very active with ballet, tennis and track.  i decided to introduce her to massage therapy professionally. image

when we think about massage therapy, we think only adults get massages. not so.  children can also get massages, as well.  are you thinking “how is there a need for a massage in a young person?”  the fact is,  pediatric massage is much more than just helping children go to sleep.  massage therapy can help children fight against loneliness, fear and anxiety.

here are several benefits of pediatric massage therapy:

  1. reduces anxiety.
  2. reduces pain and discomfort caused by an injury or any other medical condition.
  3. helps to improves self-esteem and confidence their muscles can become toned.
  4. releases the stress children may be facing because of their health, school schedules and/or family problems.
  5. can establish a better quality of health and wellbeing.

pediatric massage therapy can help children who may be suffering from rheumatoid arthritis, breathing disorders and even autism.   their mental condition could improve and they possibly may be able to concentrate better.

imagethere is no doubt that there are many benefits of pediatric massage.  however, this doesn’t mean that any massage therapist should perform a massage on a child.  most significantly, you have to understand that it would be difficult to convince a child to get a massage.  i decided to booked my daughter her first pediatric massage session with tiamoya.  i’ve known and worked along the side with tiamoya since 2007.  not only do i trust her, but tiamoya is a familiar face with my children and they are comfortable around her.  with that in mind, the massage posed no awkward feeling for taylor by having tiamoya in her personal space.  for taylor, the massage did not feel invasive.  taylor really enjoyed her massage session.  she was in a spa atmosphere, relaxed and comfortable.  i suggested for tiamoya add special attention to my daughter’s front area of her shoulders.  as girls start to develop breasts they tend to hunch over their shoulders. as a result they end up with a hunched backs and rounded broad shoulders.  considering my daughter’s age, her bones and muscles are still soft and pliable, the manipulation from the massage will help with her posture too!

although my child’s experience went well, i would like to give you some recommendations and things to be aware of before booking a pediatric massage for your child: image

  1. the most important thing is having your child’s permission before the massage is booked. talk to your child about what a massage is.
  2. parents do not force your child to get a massage if they are not ready.  even if your child says ‘no’, that is better than not asking them at all.  you may also seek permission from your child’s pediatrician, if you chose.
  3. determine how much pressure is okay to be applied on different parts of the child’s body.  maybe at home, go over what feels good and comfortable to your child before the session so they will have ideal as to what it is.
  4. if you regularly see a specific therapist, you may want to talk with them about servicing your child; this is also a way to establish trust with the child.
  5. parents, you need to be present in the treatment room while the massage is being performed.  your child will feel secure. the massage therapist should brief you on the techniques they are going to use.

overall, pediatric massage therapy is among the most specialized of all massage fields. pediatric massage therapists have to be continuously trained to keep their skills updated.  you can visit  to find a massage therapist or shoot me an email or leave a comment and i will be more than happy to refer several amazing certified massage therapists.

thank you for reading.  remember to leave your comments or send me an email to……i love reading your remarks!